He Should Have Been Happy
by Valora
Summary: Optimus made a mistake and destroyed what he thought he loved. Dragonformers. Oneshot.


**Transformers belongs to Hasbro/ Takara**

He should have been happy. Really. There was no reason for him not to be. He lowered his head into the soft grass between his forepaws and yawned, letting the sun warm his scales. Mechanocicadas were chirring in the midday heat, a gentle breeze ruffled the grass on the large and sunny clearing where his clan was dozing. It was simply too hot to do anything but lying around lazily, not even the hatchlings seemed to have energy left for playing... it was a comfortable life they led here in the light forest, prey was plenty, they had enough water, the climate wasn't exactly harsh and they had a few very nice caves for breeding.

Optimus could probably say for himself he probably was being pampered without end for he was mated to the clan leader, Ultra Magnus. Whenever the clan's hunters returned with fresh prey, he was among the first to be allowed to eat from it, he had laid his eggs in the best cave their territory had to offer and he was being loved and protected by everyone. The other dragons would often compliment him and say how lucky Ultra Magnus was to have such a sweet and beautiful young mate- he was pretty young, that was certainly true.

He had been a mere youngling when he'd first met his mate, a curious little cub hiding behind his carrier's leg, watching in awe as the leader of the neighbour clan negotiated with his sire. Ultra Magnus was a large and powerful dragon, his white, blue and black scales bearing scars of the many battles he had fought, signs of bravery and honour he carried with pride. Optimus had been absolutely enamored of him, he had admired his strength, experience, wisdom... In return, he was loved for his honesty, his energetic youth, his pure sweetness and certainly also for his attractiveness. Yes, Optimus knew how pretty he was, even if he didn't think all that much of it; he just wasn't the type for prancing around like a peacock all day.

He lifted his head lazily as his mate's long tongue was dragged across his shoulder with slow and languid motions, its owner half asleep. Optimus licked the larger dragon's snout half- heartedly before throwing a quick glance over to their nesting cave where their very first clutch was being incubated by the warm sand.

When their little ones hatched, the whole clan would be protecting them. There was no need for Optimus to worry. Ultra Magnus would certainly be a loving father to them, he was simply everything anyone could wish for in a mate; he was gentle, caring, intelligent and he had always treated Optimus with uttermost love and adoration... the perfect dragon to have strong and healthy hatchlings with. And yet, Optimus felt miserable.

Maybe he had been too young. Maybe his relationship with Magnus was based on a youngling's infatuation taken too seriously, maybe he hadn't even been ready to make such an important decision just yet. Maybe it had all gone too fast. But Ultra Magnus seemed to be so happy with him. Optimus loved him, didn't he? Didn't he...?

He felt so terrible for even thinking all those things. It wasn't fair towards his mate and his eggs. It wasn't _normal_. Dragons mated for life, their love was eternal. Dragons didn't... cheat on their partners.

He rolled over onto his back and stretched his legs out into the air. He felt like an ungrateful brat, like a traitor, a whore merely exploiting a docile admirer. Even if he didn't truly love his mate, he still liked him enough to want to see him happy and it was his responsibility to stay true to his word and remain with him, to raise their hatchings and at least keep him company, yet he feared he wouldn't be able to. His mate had always been kind to him, never had he given him any reason to despise him or fear him and still, even though they had been together for less than three stellar cycles, he found himself losing interest in him. It was just the many little things that bothered him, just the small gestures he made, the way he looked at him, the way he smelled, the way he touched him, the way he talked... he couldn't bear it.

Hot tears bit at the corners of his optics and with them came the fear of his secret being discovered. Optimus quickly rolled back onto his belly and stood up tediously.

"Where are you going, my love?" Ultra Magnus inquired sleepily, noticing his young mate wasn't lying by his side anymore. Optimus didn't turn around, he feared his tears would be spotted and his mate would start to worry and ask questions and he didn't want that. He needed to be alone.

"I'll just take a drink at the lake."

"Would you like me to accompany you?"

"Don't bother, sweetspark, I'll be back immediately." Satisfied with his answer, his mate laid back down to doze off again as Optimus spread his wings and jumped into the air. The first flaps were strenuous, the hot air felt heavy around his wings, his muscles not quite willing to cooperate but as soon as he had gained some height the thermals helped him with gliding over the treetops. It wasn't long until he reached the lake, a cyber- boar drinking there fleeing into the forest hastily as it spotted the predator from above. Optimus didn't feel like hunting though. The water splashed around him when he landed in a shallow section of the lake carelessly. He drank a little, swam over to the opposite shore and flopped down on one of the big and warm rocks to let himself be dried by the sun. The refreshment helped ease his mind for a moment but it didn't stop the guilt from returning and haunting him again. He stared at his reflection in the clear water.

"What's wrong with me?" He asked quietly before wrinkling up his snout in anger and hitting the water's smooth surface with his paw. Ultra Magnus deserved a better mate, he thought. Someone who could appreciate his affection. Someone faithful. He sniffed. He deserved someone who could be absolutely certain the eggs he had laid in their cave had been fertilized by their mate.

He didn't know whether Ultra Magnus was really the father of his hatchlings. He just couldn't tell for sure. What if he wasn't? Magnus was so proud of their first clutch, he could see it in his optics whenever they went into the cave to look for the eggs. He loved his little family so much.

How could Optimus have done something so cruel to him? It had happened just beyond that hill over there, just near that place where the old tree had been uprooted during the big storm last summer. He had just taken a little walk after bathing in this very lake, just to have a little time for himself before he would return to his mate. He had been in heat, every dragon could smell it on him, as well as the unmistakeable scent of the clan leader, his partner who had been doing his very best to tend to any desire Optimus might have had.

The other dragon must have known he wasn't actually available. Pit, he _had_ known. Optimus had been scared to death at first. He'd heard stories about that dragon. The marauder. That was what he was called. No one knew his true name, no one knew where he had even come from; he had no clan, no territory to call his home but it was known that where he showed up, death and destruction were almost inevitable. His gunmetal gray, black and blood red scales along with his scarred wings and flanks made him look like the incarnation of doom, a dark predator who was notorious for causing unspeakable suffering to those whose borders he crossed. A monster who didn't stop from plundering nests and killing younglings.

But for all the gruesome things he had heard of this demon, he had been incredibly... charming. Optimus wished he could say the stranger had taken him forcefully, but he hadn't. Now that he thought back to it, the other dragon had twisted him around his claw way too easily, had coaxed him into submission so quickly... before he knew what was happening, the intruder had already pinned him to the mossy ground, holding him down to mate with him.

And he had loved it. He'd made him feel things the young dragon hadn't even known were possible, driven him to purest ecstasy... he'd woken up on the ground, alone, valve aching from the intense intercourse. No trace of the stranger.

He'd told himself he would just forget about the whole incident and return to his mate's side, no one would ever know. But it hadn't been the same ever since. Nothing had been the same. He couldn't bring himself to enjoy his mate's touch anymore. His body ached for the stranger while his spark was torn apart by the unmeasurable guilt. Optimus had destroyed whatever he'd had with the clan leader. Where there had been undying love at first, there now was nothing but an empty void that could not be filled.

To think that Magnus could be raising a clutch that wasn't even his- Optimus didn't even want to think about it. He didn't _want_ to. He was having nightmares already. He dreaded the day his little ones hatched... picturing his mate's joy, his eagerness to finally see his offspring fighting itself free of it's confining shell and his horror when large hatchling optics opened for the first time to reveal deep red lenses... Ultra Magnus would be devastated.

Imagining how he would feel knowing that his beloved young mate had coupled with another dragon, after all he had been through, after he had lost his first mate along with their clutch so many vorns ago and after he had been so lucky to have found new love with Optimus...

Tears rolled from his blue optics to gather below his chin before dripping down into the lake. What would happen to his little ones if Ultra Magnus found out? What would happen to him? To his knowledge, what he had done was unprecedented- dragons just _did not do_ something like this. He didn't know how his mate would react. Would he abandon him? Punish him? Or would he... kill him? He probably deserved it. But he was still scared. Too scared.

He stood up, his spark heavy. He couldn't continue like this, he didn't even think he could face Ultra Magnus again. He feared he would break under his loving gaze, that the facade he'd kept up during the past time would crumble to reveal the cruel and ugly truth. He sniffed once again before turning around and walking off into the forest. It was too much, all of it.

Optimus needed some space, he needed time to think... and to regret. Maybe he would return one day. Maybe he wouldn't.

The End.


End file.
